By Michael Derrick Hudson
Almost everything got in. Even the dinosaurs stomp around
the hot tubs and gazebos, haloes shimmering over
their massive intelligent skulls, grunting Alleluias. Atheists
made it too, although they have to wear little red beanies so
we know who to gently tease for corporeal
hopelessness and infidelity: Cheer up, Christopher Hitchens!
After a while, you grow used to the bliss: not once twanging
the wrong note, lathering and shampooing
each other, sexless, in tepid frothy pools of serotonin, loving
equally each one of my great-great-great-great-grandmas and
second cousins twice-removed and each one
of my dead cats taking turns to rub, purring,
against my hairless ankles. Princess! Plato! Hodge-Podge!
Rubber mice. Mandatory self-esteem. Beauty locked
in perpetuity. The standard-issue smile. The perfect Boss . . .
So mostly I like it here. The reassurance
of the unambiguously blameless, the expulsion of froideur
and doubt. It’s perpetual sunrise over a greeny-green garden
where our only lion pads by, obliged to nuzzle
our celestial lamb chewing its celestial cud. But no flyblown
scat, no blood-stained tooth. No hangovers.
No broken hearts. Sure, sometimes I miss a liony feral glint,
an unappeasable urge, the gross sentimentality
of loss. Sometimes I just want something careworn, regretful,
dilapidated, or stupid. Sometimes you just want
to fuck with them. Today, I got a demerit for goofing around
when ordering lunch: scorched coffee, black as hell,
a day-old chocolate donut with sprinkles, a quart of rye, and
a very specific spring lamb on a skewer, half-raw
half-charred. Not funny! But in Heaven records get expunged.
There’re no penalties, no parole. There’s nowhere else to go . . .
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